Semester End Wrap-Up

A is for Anatomy, friends. ZZ is for my physiology. Ever since class ended, I've been reliving my sleeping glory days -- 12 hours a night on weekends, sometimes followed by a nap. I've still got it!

Also, for all my talk about never having opened my book, I'm lying. I used my book twice: once on a take-home test where I had to look up the names of nerves, and once yesterday because my friend who's planning a baby shower needed disgusting details about childbirth.

That's how you get good grades. Remember it.

Hello, Do You Have Google?

Well then good news -- you too could likely pass this "take-home test." (You can see it bigger if you click.)

Just a reminder -- I get COLLEGE CREDIT for this. COLLEGE. The same stuff people spend 20 years paying off.

Also, someone was asking me what classes I had left and after I listed them I was convinced I was missing one, and that's when it hit me -- after next week, I am halfway done with my prereqs! I can apply this fall and start next damn May if I want.

That's really exciting, and also really scary. I might slow down a bit. I dunno. I'm terrified and confused. But, again, halfway done, so yay for that, you know?

This is a Cow Eye

School Update

I know I haven't written much about classes but there's not a ton to tell you. I go there, I sit still, I leave.

We've had three tests, and I've gotten a 93, 96, and 103 on them. I also haven't read any of the book (why confuse myself?). It is basically a middle-school level anatomy course, and it turns out I'm super-qualified to pass middle school science. (Multiple people have noted that they hope I will never be their nurse.)

The photo to the left is a sheep brain that we dissected Friday with the instructions: "So, dissect that." We didn't have to ID or find or notice anything. We just cut it up for half an hour then went home. True story. Also the week before our teacher asked us to bring gloves if we had them. She played around with the brain with her bare hands. Fact.

Fail

I know I'm the worst poster ever but um I work all the time and then work out so I have no time and also nothing interesting to post when I do have time. Seriously. Name one thing. That's right, nothing.

Anyway I get my 2nd test back Friday and then I should be able to give you a better picture of this semester but um yeah it's boring going to school Fridays 5:30 to 8 and Saturdays 9 to 12, that is what I can tell you for sure.

I'm terrible at picture taking so this sucks and maybe later this semester I'll get a good shot but this is the best part about school:



God I suck at pictures and everything else.

Heaven!

This class has reunited me with one of my first loves: Napping!

So I got into a section that runs Fridays from 5:30 to 8 pm and Saturdays from 9 to 11:45 am. I'd been bracing myself for a 7-hours-on-Saturday (or Sunday) course and really dreading it. Why? Because ugh.

Since I work until 7, I'd previously thought I couldn't leave at 5 to get to this section. Because, I suppose, I can't. But now that a memo's gone out that we're not getting any bonuses or raises and 10% of us are getting laid off, well, my loyalty is somewhat less strong. And also, I'm there all the gd time any gd way.

So I chose the F/S section and figure I'll break it to my boss eventually that I'm taking half-days on Fridays. (Also, it's Friday, c'mon.) (Also, if they decide to make me part of that 10% on account of two fewer hours on Fridays, then they can extra b-word [not that b-word] me.)

This felt like a huge relief immediately, since all I like to do on Fridays is go home and go right to sleep anyway. Sure, it sucks to have to get up Saturday am ... BUT waking up at worktime, then going and sitting and taking notes for 2 1/2 hours, then coming home? NAP CITY.

I took the best nap I've had in years. I slept like a baby cat. I've still got the skill! As my life has worn on and my jobs lasted longer, I've had fewer opportunities and a harder time when I did have them to day-sleep. But this is great.

Plus, I sort of do nothing but lie around on weekends, maybe because of depression or laziness or general failure to thrive in society. But this is way more fun than sleeping until noon and then resting. I get something done, and then I get to sleep hard. I am like the Fast and Furious of napping. I live my life one wasted daytime hour at a time.

Also I get to go to Whole Foods at noon and this one is EMPTY. It's so surreal. No lines, no crowds, fully stocked.

Notes From the First Night of Class

* Ameoba look like Funfetti under a microscope!!

* Applied learning, direct from the professor:
"A good way, if you wanna do someone in -- and I'm blanking on the poison name here -- is to do something that'll keep oxygen from getting into the mitochondria."

* There is now a Whole Foods one block away from the school, and since the class gets out Saturdays at noon, brunch just got a whole lot more carrot cakey. Hooray!

* Our assignment was to look at the letter 'e' under a microscope. Since the class is made up of pretty high-functioning people, we all managed to do this in about 3 minutes. Then our teacher said "I have to go get some more notes to give you guys since you're hot shots and did that so quickly." So look forward to me using the phrase "hot shots" at every available opportunity for the next year or so.

* Overheard!
White person at community college: Yeah, I just have a lot of class rage because of how I was raised.
Other student: You have a lot of what?
WPACC: Class rage. I just don't think anyone should be paid that amount.

More class rage sure to follow -- right here on The Second Degree internet website!

(image from Two Novice Chefs...)

College Update

I'd been wrestling with whether to go this semester, since it's 7 hours on a weekend and I might throw up from boredom.

But I finally decided to suck it up, so last month I re-registered at school. And then I couldn't get into any of the sections. At all. They were all full. And then registration closed. A seat in Anatomy & Physiology is the community college equivalent of a Leonard Cohen ticket, apparently.

But now I think I've bullied my way into getting approved by the department head to register. But then that means I will have to go. So there are pluses and minuses.

In the meantime, I've made my job manageable, but I'm not sure that makes up for the fact that the industry is dying and there is no career longevity in it. So, you know, nursing. Onward and Saturdayward.

PS I got an A in internet psychology for idiots.

Online College Contd.

Best post yet, in response to a question on ethnic identity.

"I have to say that I think this is funny. I am from upstate New York and I thought that everyone in the US did and said the same things we did and said... I take a vacation to Florida and I find out that soda is actually pop to them. It makes me laugh when ever we take a vacation to see the different little things that we do. By the way. Floridians think we are just as weird for calling Pepsi soda... soda to them is soda water.... :)"

Also the cut-and-paster continues to cut and paste, giving sources such as en.wikipedia.org, books.google.com, and highbeam.com. GOOD JOB, LOSER!

Applied Learning

Here's some good news I got from my college reading. 2/3 of people who get divorced get remarried. That means if I can just find one husband and get divorced, I have a 66% chance of getting married. Those sound like better odds than what I have right now.

Guess Who Posted this in Internet College?

"Okay, honestly.. yes, it's that time of the month. I know this is personal, but I'm finding myself feeling a different emotion every 5 minutes. I went to the mall today.. oh boy. I felt happy, excited, then anxious and pressured. Most of the time, I felt them all at once. By the time I left I was pissed off over something rediculous, pleased with my purchases, anxious to get out of there, excited to be leaving, sad to be leaving. Hahah, I didn't know what to think. By the time I got home I wanted to cry.. over the smallest thing ever. Of course.. but It's crazy how we can feel so many different emotions in such a short time, it's almost overwhelming (which is also how I felt!)
-- Men don't make things any better!"

Give up? That's right! NOT ME!

Internet Classmates

So far most of the 'significant responses' in my developmental psychology class consist of one-line anecdotes about people's kids. Samples:

* "Babies are just the coolest people. I have learned so much from my kids and they keep teaching me every day.
* "Its amazing to think that children are so aware of there surroundings. The smallest situation can really have a huge impact on who they will become."

Too true, dudes.

But this response to a question about babies recognizing faces seemed surprisingly insightful: "Early face-specific processing is not automatic,but rather, like other objects, strongly depends on endogenous factors such as the allocation of spatial attention."

So I Googled it. And yeah. I shouldn't even be getting grade school credit for this stuff.

(Pic: bbaunach, Flickr)

What I Know About This Semester's Online Course

1. 87% of our grade is based on the two-a-week multiple choice, automatically-graded tests. I read the book this week but from the 15-minute exams I just took I think there's a good chance I can skip that part if I'm pressed for time.

The other 13% is how much we blather meaningfully on various topics in the discussion.

2. In the icebreaker post about why we're taking the class, one girl explained that it's to understand why her boyfriend died. So there's that.

This is how online learning was meant to be.

By Commenter Request

Actual excerpt from the discussion from my online Intro to Psychology class:

Question:
Transportation workers(airline pilots, truck drivers, bus drivers)are not allowed to exceed a specific number of work hours per day. What argument might you make supporting the continuance(or discontinuance) of such laws?

Reply:
I remember one time my fiancé and I were driving on the highway and we were on the side of a tractor trailer. I noticed the vehicle swerving slightly and when I looked out the window I could see the man driving with his eyes closed. They were closed for only seconds, but that's all it takes.

Reply:
wow what a scary situation. I cant even imagine having that happen since I am afraid enough of passing tractor trailers on the highway without them swerving. You are completely correct though that all it takes is a few seconds unfortunately. And those few seconds can determine life and death when you are operating such a powerful machine. Scary stuff to think about.

I started keeping an ongoing list of but after about two days, it got too depressing to even make fun of. I still have a few saved though if you guys want to see more.

Really makes your mouth water for the Oct. 27 kickoff of my next semester, no!?

Guess What I Just Changed?

The template of this page, so not EVERYTHING has to be in green bold right on top of everything else.

Guess how I did that?
HTML, people.

Let me know what you think. It's not perfect, but it's better.

And look, I know I've been terrible about posting. But, like my boss, I don't see that -- or ANYTHING -- as a negative. I see it as an opportunity to grow. Specifically, it's a great opportunity for you to slow down and grow some patience. Here's a picture from the esteemed internet as an apology.

Plus, school starts up again in a week -- another internet psychology class. So that's sure to provide plenty of new things for me to rage about that I can't talk about at work.

Idiots Spring Eternal

I went to an information session last week. Even though I'm probably not going to school until Fall 2010, doing that makes it seem sort of real. I went to one at an Ivy League school in January, before I started my first class, just as kind of a first step in actually doing something about this alleged goal of mine. (Am I like the best life coach or what?!)

Anywho, the nice ladies at my alma mater (now my top choice because they pointed out that they have inter-semester study sessions in Italy; I'd forgotten about that resource from my time as an undergrad and didn't even consider that the nursing program could take advantage) spent an hour going over all the admissions and curriculum requirements. I was familiar with all of this from my OCD reading of the website but still, good info.

Then? The Q&A session. Q&A about the specific nursing program, that is.

"You said there's a nursing shortage. Why is that?" Sigh. The lady answered. The questioner shared. "Oh yeah because I went to the hospital once and told the guy I was like going into nursing and he said to please, because it's really really bad there aren't enough people." GOOD QUESTION.

Then another lady raised her hand and asked, "I'm an RN, so what are the opportunities for me here?" Um.... "And there are prerequisites?" Um..... please see first hour of presentation for reference. "And also so how do I apply?" I mean this went on and on and on and had already been answered. She sucked.

Still, it kinda makes me think yes, I should definitely just take out loans and go to an expensive school where at least I'll be with smart-ish people than go to some local school and spend an intense 16 months with the likes of my community college class. Yes? No? Thoughts?

Grounded

So last week I wasn't allowed to watch TV (except for what I'd DVRd, okay) or do work and I suddenly found myself with a lot more time.

So I immediately devoted all that anxiety and obsessive behavior to researching and re-researching nursing programs and reading nurse blogs. These are my two favorites:

Musings of a Highly Trained Monkey
and
Adventures of GuitarGirl RN
(she used to be an editor and fact-checker and now is a nurse)

Of course, those two are ER/acute-care nurses and reading them raises my blood pressure.

I also found two hospice nurse blogs that didn't exist in January:

DNR/DNI
and
Dethmama Chronicles

Internet Rage

So I haven't written that much about my internet psychology class. That's not because I'm not taking it, but because it's so painful as to not even be funny. Here's what we do each week:

* Read four chapters of a textbook
* Post four answers on ONE narrow topic plucked at random from one of those four chapters
* Write a chapter summary. (Italics indicate disbelief.) Minimum word count is 600. I got a C on one I did that was 1800 words because it needed "more detail."
* Write a 600-word minimum essay on a topic from one of the chapters. So far the only feedback I've gotten is "longer and more detail would improve score."

Here's the actual question posed by the professor this week, and a sample answer--from him, so you know it's supposed to make sense.

QUESTION: 535 members of the U.S. Congress pass laws which sometimes affect small parts of the population and in some instatnces the entire population of 300 million. What factors discussed in chapter 15 might help explain how a mere .00018 % of the population can dictate the rules for the other 99.99982 % of the population?

ANSWER: There are many factors that determine why so few can dictate to so many. Suggestibility shows that people are willing to conform to what others say they should or should not do. It is a subtle type of conformity-pg 546. Being part of a group may allow us access to valuable information. "When influence supports our opinion we approve, we applaud those who are sensitive enough to be responsive".--pg 547. "Obedience was highest when---the person giving the orders was perceived to be a legitimate authority figure.-pg548. Social loafing might be seen when a group of people work together to obtain a common goal. In some instances these individuals will show less effort as there is a lack of individual accountability relative to the outcome of their efforts.-pg550.

If you think that makes no sense, I really can't even get into my "classmates'" answers. It's too mind-bottling, you guys.

Important Announcements

1. I am seven tans in and seriously getting INCREDIBLY golden brown. On the downside, my brain sort of started melting during my first nine-minute session. How do people do this for like 12 minutes? Your tips welcome. Also it's a stand-up booth and my arms get tired because I feel like I have to hold them up or my armpits might not get tan. Confusing stuff.

2. As both of my readers now know, I may be changing my job. This is very scary, but alas, it's hard to argue that your job is wonderful and satisfying when you have been voluntarily attending a remedial CHEMISTRY CLASS two nights a week. That is like saying your kidneys are totes fine and that you simply get dialysis "just in case." The good news is I'll be constantly stealing corporate secrets and insights about how to drive ever more traffic to the amazing Second Degree website. Seriously I think I can top 10 unique visitors a month, and then it's just a matter of hours before Google acquires me.

3. I got the first issue in my subscription to Positive Thinking magazine today. If you don't believe me, eff you. I love it! Read it if you want.

4. I'm really scared about a new job. I haven't had a regular commute since 2005.
4a. Fortunately I located an accelerated nursing program within driving distance of my parents' house. With an absolute worst case scenario backup plan in place, I think I can make the move.

Late-Expressing Genetic Link

So after our final on Monday, a few of us went out for several drinks. The four of us who had all gotten BAs already were talking about the decision to start taking classes and eventually leave our jobs (two of us work in publishing/media, one is a "refurbishing specialist" or somesuch at a big Fifth Avenue store, and another works for a city health nonprofit). What we all have in common is that we're taking prerequisites so we can get into a second-degree BSN program... and our mothers are all nurses!

What I'm thinking is that if scientists can locate the exact nursing gene, they can reproduce it and graft it into regular people and stop the nursing shortage ASAP. Actually, what am I saying, "scientists"? I've had one semester of community college chemistry, I'm pretty sure I can take it from here.

PS This picture really is of my mom. She's super pretty. We look nothing alike sadly.