There's a small chance that I might do an anonymous dating advice column for a friend's new site. I will certainly keep you posted, but in the meantime, in case it happens, I want to share one thing. It's possibly the most genius piece of dating insight ever and I want to put it here first so that—in case things sour with this new website after they steal my idea—the Nobel Prize people know that they should in fact send the award to me.
Women subconsciously judge men's suitability by how they perform on
The Wolverine Test. Imagine walking down the street with your partner and your baby when you are confronted by an angry wolverine. On a hardwired, evolutionary, subprimal level, women want a guy who will react protectively in the event of a wolverine vs. family unit battle: A guy who will reflexively stand between the baby and the wolverine, or be a quick thinker who yells out instructions for how to escape, or maybe even lunge at the animal.
No woman wants a guy who runs away, or who looks to her with an ironic just-kidding-only-I'm-not “Whaddo we do now?” face, or who pushes her in front of the wolverine to distract it. So when you show signs of wussitude early on—by texting her instead of calling, by sharing your poetry, by not making a move on her even though you're on a freaking date, or by asking for her permission on stuff she could not care less about she does not even know you man up and get a hold of yourself buddy—she is getting the feeling that you are not going to be much help in the event of a wolverine. A few of those and next thing you know, she's just not that into you.
In summation: Sending text messages is the same as feeding your baby to a wolverine. Pass it on.
(Wikipedia says this picture is public domain so a) it's obviously true and b) I can use it, right?)
For years I struggled with wanting to eat Pluck U chicken fingers (hot sauce, obviously), but also something chewy. Or a chicken sandwich, but also spicy. All the previous results? Messy.
I know I haven't written much about classes but there's not a ton to tell you. I go there, I sit still, I leave.
Go ahead, order one up. And seriously, happy holidays to you, too.
Pretty awesome, right? You can order it here.
So far most of the 'significant responses' in my developmental psychology class consist of one-line anecdotes about people's kids. Samples:
1. 87% of our grade is based on the two-a-week multiple choice, automatically-graded tests. I read the book this week but from the 15-minute exams I just took I think there's a good chance I can skip that part if I'm pressed for time.
(This one is not a spoiler.)
Actual excerpt from the discussion from my online Intro to Psychology class:
Fact: This study about nurses in the movies is interesting. I wrote away for the full text and will update you with specifics when/if I get it.
So after our final on Monday, a few of us went out for several drinks. The four of us who had all gotten BAs already were talking about the decision to start taking classes and eventually leave our jobs (two of us work in publishing/media, one is a "refurbishing specialist" or somesuch at a big Fifth Avenue store, and another works for a city health nonprofit). What we all have in common is that we're taking prerequisites so we can get into a second-degree BSN program... and our mothers are all nurses!
Women subconsciously judge men's suitability by how they perform on The Wolverine Test. Imagine walking down the street with your partner and your baby when you are confronted by an angry wolverine. On a hardwired, evolutionary, subprimal level, women want a guy who will react protectively in the event of a wolverine vs. family unit battle: A guy who will reflexively stand between the baby and the wolverine, or be a quick thinker who yells out instructions for how to escape, or maybe even lunge at the animal.
