New Fallback Career

Without even realizing it, I have recently become fluent in super-corporate-speak. I'm like a jargon robot!

I discovered this when a friend from high school asked me how to tell her boss why the maternity leave temp shouldn't be hired on permanently.

MyFriend (4:32:56 PM): but a) what do i say that's a professional complaint b/c "she's a lazy whore who's on her call phone all day and leaves for 90 min to go get massages and plays solitaire when she is here" doesn't seem appropriate
TheImaginaryNurse (4:33:13 PM): "i want to see her take more ownership of the projects and step up in her role"
TheImaginaryNurse (4:33:28 PM): "i feel sometimes when given tasks she waits for me instead of considering herself accountable to the client"
MyFriend (4:33:29 PM): haha it's like a translator!
MyFriend (4:33:41 PM): do it again!
MyFriend (4:34:09 PM): she's always working on personal stuff
TheImaginaryNurse (4:34:30 PM): "i feel she has the capacity to take on more responsibilities and i'm frustrated by her lack of proactivity"
MyFriend (4:34:46 PM): genius
TheImaginaryNurse (4:35:00 PM): "she's so talented nad successful when engaged but i'm not sure how best to motivate her, since she's not a self-starter"
MyFriend (4:35:10 PM): you're amazing
TheImaginaryNurse (4:36:15 PM): "she doesn't seem to feel empowered to make requested changes and participate in various meetings and conversations"

Let me know what I can translate for you!

(photo credit: Crystl, Flickr)